Before we get into this topic, two disclaimers are in order. The first is safety. There are many resources on sexual safety, and I’ve mentioned them in other articles, so I won’t repeat them here, but it’s an issue that cannot be ignored for a moment, so once again, the premise of everything that follows must be to keep sex safe.
The second is sexual diversity. Human sexual behavior, all-encompassing, its content beyond the imagination of many people, so in an article or even a book can not be covered. It is important to remind everyone that there is no method of lovemaking that is to everyone’s liking, and that one should not easily make moral or so-called “normal or perverted” judgments about behaviors that one does not like. Any sexual behavior between well-informed, consenting adults is normal as long as it does not bring harm to themselves or others. The tips in this article may not apply to everyone, and this article only touches on some common and basic sexual behaviors between gay men. For some people, it may be too elementary.
In addition, different countries and regions have different laws regarding sexual behavior, such as: sex that occurs in public, sex that involves more than one person, and so on. The laws governing sexual behavior are beyond the scope of this article. Adults should be aware of the relevant laws in their countries and take responsibility for their own behavior.
Mindset and Sex
Mindset has a great impact on the enjoyment of sex. Firstly, there is the issue of attitude towards sex. Some people, due to cultural indoctrination and other reasons, have fear, aversion, dirty or guilty feelings towards sex, which will affect the enjoyment of sex to different degrees. Sex is part of normal human behavior, and sexual desire is not fundamentally different from other sensual desires (such as hunger and thirst, etc.). Understanding this will help eliminate psychological barriers.
Some people have a variety of complaints about their bodies that lead to a certain amount of low self-esteem. For example, it is very common for some people to worry about the size of their penis, which can also affect one’s enjoyment of sex. In reality, sexual pleasure and penis size, are not directly related. As for the other parts of the body, including the body type of concern, is also unnecessary, you should know, like what body type, type of people have, do not let the media, including pornographic media to promote the image of influence you, think that is the type of everyone likes. What kind of mindset is better for sexual enjoyment? It should be a relaxed state of mind. Feeling safe with your sexual partner and environment can help you relax.
Nervousness can not only interfere with sexual pleasure, but can sometimes lead to an inability to complete the sexual act. Some men (gay and non-gay) who have sex with another person for the first time experience premature ejaculation or an inability to maintain an erection due to nervousness. So, learning to relax is an important preparation. Of course, there are some who enjoy adventurous nervousness, such as having sex in situations that expose them to danger (wilderness, public places, etc.), etc., but that’s being prepared to seek out excitement.
An open mind about how to have sex is also an important factor. Having sex with another person is, in one way or another, a process of mutual exploration and discovery. So have an open mind to try and experience it.
Expectations about sex should also be open. Some of my friends not only lack sexual experience, but also lack access to knowledge of techniques, so they use pornography, movies and television as a guide, which may be very disappointing to you. Behaviors, positions, etc. that seem sexy in pornographic movies do not necessarily give you and your sexual partner pleasure in real sex. Remember, the purpose of sex is to bring pleasure to both of you, not to achieve the “orgasm” depicted in the movie. Occasionally I get asked if my inability to ejaculate on my BF, or my inability to be ejaculated on by my BF, means that he doesn’t love me or I don’t love him, and that’s just watching pornographic movies and getting carried away.
Environment and preparation
The environment of lovemaking, and sexual pleasure is also related, some people like to love the quiet, dark light environment, and some people like to accompany the music, it is necessary for the two people to discover together. Some love partners, the way of making love and the environment, set in stone, every time in the same place. Occasionally try making love in a different place, such as on the couch, the dining table instead of the bed, maybe you will find to enhance sexual pleasure.
Sexual desire ebbs and flows throughout the day and varies from person to person, so the time of day you have sex is sometimes important.
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Cleanliness of the body is also part of the preparation. Scent is part of the sexual attraction for many people. Some people are able to have a strong sexual attraction due to the other person’s body odor, but there is a matter of degree. A slight sweat that has just broken out may be pleasurable. However, the sweat glands are also the most active area for bacterial growth, and when sweat is “processed” by bacteria, it can produce unpleasant odors (this is how bad breath develops), so it’s a good idea to take a shower before having sex. Some couples use bathing before sex as part of foreplay and teasing. Sometimes taking a bath together can take the edge off of each other as they begin to touch, and can also help to fully relax before moving on to the sexual phase. One more thing should be mentioned when it comes to scents. Some people have a bad reaction to artificial fragrances, so don’t use a lot of strong perfume or other cosmetics containing strong fragrances before making love.
If the environment doesn’t allow for washing before sex, then consider wiping the area with wipes, etc., but don’t use wipes with strong fragrances or a rough texture.
